In a world that constantly measures value through output, productivity, and visible achievement, presence can feel deceptively quiet - even insignificant.
Yet presence is often where the most meaningful work happens.
Presence is not passive.
It is not doing nothing.
And it is certainly not a lack of contribution.
Presence is the capacity to be with: with ourselves, with others, with complexity, emotion, uncertainty, or transition - without rushing to fix, perform, or prove.
Presence as an Active Skill
Presence requires regulation, awareness, and restraint.
It asks us to:
- Stay attentive when discomfort arises
- Listen without immediately advising
- Notice what is happening beneath behaviour, words, or silence
- Remain steady when outcomes are not yet clear
This is why presence is so powerful in parenting, education, leadership, and therapeutic or supportive roles. It creates psychological security: the space where growth, learning, and self-trust can begin.
| Often, what helps someone most is not having the right answer, but the experience of being seen, held, and understood. |
Why we Struggle to Value Presence
Many of us were taught, implicitly or explicitly, that our worth is tied to what we produce.
So when we slow down, sit with someone, or simply hold space, we may question:
- Am I doing enough?
- Should I be more directive?
- Is this valuable?
Because presence doesn’t always look impressive from the outside.
It leaves no immediate metric.
No checklist.
Sometimes, no visible ‘result’ in the moment.
Yet its impact is often long-term and foundational.
Seeing our own Value in Being Present
Recognising the value of presence requires a shift in how we define contribution.
Your value may lie in:
- Your centred nervous system when someone else is overwhelmed
- Your ability to stay grounded when others feel stuck
- Your patience during someone else’s process
- Your consistency, attunement, and emotional availability
These qualities do not shout, but they stabilise.
Presence communicates:
“You are not alone.”
“You don’t need to perform here.”
“You are safe enough to be honest.”
And that message, quietly repeated, can change how people see themselves.
Presence as Self-respect
There is also something deeply self-respecting about presence. When we allow ourselves to be present, without over-explaining, over-working, or over-giving, we acknowledge that who we are matters, not only what we deliver.
Presence reminds us that:
- We are not only facilitators of outcomes
- We are relational beings
- Our regulated presence is a resource in itself
This is especially important for those who support others, like parents, educators, practitioners, and leaders, who are often at risk of undervaluing their quieter strengths.
A Kind Reframe
Perhaps the question is not, “Am I doing enough?” but rather “What is my presence making possible right now?”
Because sometimes, presence is the intervention.
The foundation.
The beginning. And learning to see its value, both in our work and in ourselves, is an act of quiet confidence.